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Monday- Friday 8 am
Except First Fridays, No 8 am Mass
Mass is at 12:30 pm every First Friday
* * *
SUMMER MASS SCHEDULE
Saturday 5 p.m.
Sunday 7:30 am, 10:00 am
✞ CONFESSIONS ✞
offered on Saturday afternoons
from 4:00-4:30 pm in the church
or
by Appointment: 973-635-0625
phone extensions:
152 Fr. Bob 156 Fr. Artur
fr.bob@st-pats.org fr.artur@st-pats.org
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Convalidation of a Civil Marriage
It is not uncommon for couples who are in marriages that were never fully recognized by the Catholic Church to put questions to me about their marital status in the church. Most “non-Catholic” weddings stem from an assortment of reasons that include a destination wedding, a service at the venue, or a previous marriage that ended in divorce but never annulled. Others make mention that they were not practicing their faith at the time of the marriage while also believing that a priest or deacon would not provide a wedding if they were not registered in a parish. Some couples also do not wish to go through the process that leads to marriage in the church. I have been approached by couples who have been in marriages for over 25 years bring this to my attention, as well as the process of convalidation of a civil marriage so that their union is fully recognized by the Catholic Church.
Pope St. John Paul II in 1981 issued a document titled, On The Family which rendered suggestions to pastors who work with couples in these situations declaring that each situation should be examined case by case with much sensitivity and care so that the path leads to “validation” of the marriage in the church. He stated that the benefits of a convalidation of a marriage in the church often renders much peace of heart and oneness with the church as the couple also receive a special blessing within the ceremony. One of the biggest reasons for not wishing to go through with the process is if an annulment from a previous marriage is required. Annulments take time and call forth a deep rooted review of a previous marriage. Here it is important for a couple to speak to a priest to determine if an annulment is necessary as many have held back from validation of a marriage falsely believing stories of friends and relatives about annulments when in fact an annulment may not be required.
There is an assortment of questions that people bring whenever they seek to have a marriage annulled. “Does the declaration of nullity make children from a previous marriage illegitimate?” I answer that question with the comment that in the same manner that a civil divorce does not change responsibility to children, an annulment does likewise and encourages responsibility to children. “What are grounds for an annulment?” Most priests could explain this in detail aware that the process could foster psychological and spiritual growth. Other questions include options for a suitable type of service that could be celebrated to validate a marriage, and the length of time it takes to prepare for the ceremony, which includes premarital documents, baptismal certificates and any practical or spiritual guidance.
Most couples who go through the process of validation of a marriage discover new found happiness in their relationship, and greater desire to be active in a Catholic faith community. A marriage sanctioned by the church is a spiritual communion between two individuals, which sets it apart from a civil contract. Good marriages do not just happen, but couples work on relationships throughout the entirety of their lives. Three questions I ask couples who meet with me with the intent of getting married in church are, “What blessing or gift do you believe you bring to the marriage?” “What is the most important thing you seek in this marriage?” and “Why do you wish to marry the person you are going to marry?” The third question often brings tears to the eye of the partner who hears affirming words about oneself in that countless people who are truly in love never communicate to their partner the reason for wanting to be together for a lifetime.
The late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen once stated, “a vocation to marriage is a vocation to happiness which comes through holiness and sanctity.” If you or someone you know is holding back from a convalidation of a civil marriage to be married in the faith, encourage them to take the initial step. They may find it spiritually enriching and most rewarding.
In Christ's Love,
Fr. Bob